DOG TURD SOUP
What the heck is Dog Turd Soup?
It's a delightful recipe the kids will love. They can even help to roll the "turds"! It's really my own version of Italian Wedding Soup, but the kids seem to enjoy the idea of the meatballs having the appearance of.. Well, you know.
If you suddenly have the urge to create a tasty soup with what appear to be corn-infused stools floating in a beefy spinach and tomato broth, then this is the recipe for you. There's nothing more rewarding than coming home from work on a cold night and sitting down to a bowl full of corn filled turds. Make sure you wipe after you have finished. (Your mouth of course)
Lets start with the ingredients:
Turd Recipe:
1 LB. Ground beef, or beef, veal and pork mixture if you can find it.
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
1 cup grated parmesan or romano cheese
1 cup dry fried onions (green bean casserole onions)
1 can whole corn, white or yellow or mixed (drained)
2 slices of bread with crusts cut into 1" cubes
1 package of onion/mushroom soup mix or equivalent. I like to use Philly Steak seasoning.
1 tbs. garlic powder
1 tbs Worcestershire sauce
1 or 2 eggs, beaten.
Salt and pepper to taste
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Here are the ingredients in bowls with the ground beef and ground pork mixture. In the center picture, I have added half the onions, breadcrumbs, cheese and egg mixture. After folding that in, add a layer of bread cubes, then fold the bread in.
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After the bread, flatten out the meat and distribute half of the corn evenly, then fold gently so the corn stays reasonably whole. Fold in the rest of the dry ingredients, and then the rest of the corn. Then, make a meat tower. I saw Richard Dreyfuss do this with mashed potatoes in Close Encounters, plus, it's easier to pull from when you begin to roll your turds.
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I rolled about 40 turds and placed them on a lightly greased baking sheet. Bake at 350° middle rack for about 30 minutes. They cooked up nicely, and I cooled them on a plate.
Now, it's time for the broth: Here are the ingredients:
2 Lb. Oxtails
4 tbs XVirgin Olive Oil
1 26 ounce can tomato sauce
6-8 cups water
4 cans beef stock or broth
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup burgundy wine
1 medium onion diced
3 or 4 stalks celery chopped
2 or 3 carrots diced
1 pkg frozen chopped spinach
3 cloves garlic minced
1 small can of premade plain dinner roll dough
1 bunch sage
2 bay leaves
1 tbs whole black peppercorns
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Heat your 4 tbs olive oil in the bottom of your soup pot. Arrange the oxtails and sear on both sides until juices appears and meat begins browning but not burning. When they are finished, remove them and set aside. Pour 1/2 cup of burgundy wine into the pot and stir to deglaze. Pour the whole mess of juice into a sauté pan.
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With the soup pot now empty, place the oxtails back in and pour in 4 to 6 cups of water with high heat. Boil for and hour. During that time, wait for onions, carrots and celery to magically dice themselves. If that doesn't transpire, grab a knife and do it yourself. Sauteé them in the deglazing juice until the onions begin to caramelize.
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When the veggies are finished, dump them into the pot with the oxtails and water along with the tomato sauce and 2-4 cans of beef broth. Open the dough and cut up about 20 little pieces of dough to make some dumplings. This is optional, you can use pasta if you want to. Then, carefully, add the turds and reduce heat to medium.
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Add the frozen spinach and let it break apart in the soup. The dumplings will fatten up like your college girlfriend in her sophomore year. Add all of the seasonings we haven't already mentioned and check the broth to make sure it's the way you like it. I served this with fine egg noodles and pulled out the dumplings, and it was fantastic. The turds were great. Don't let the name fool you, this is excellent soup!